brunetteandblonn

My little sister is moving in with me this coming Saturday to spend her summer in the big city. She is a student at the University of Arkansas in Fayetteville and I’m anticipating the transition from one locale to the other to be somewhat tricky. After all, she’s moving to the 3rd largest city in America! So for her, and for anyone else who stumbles upon this, here are some helpful tips from someone who only 6 years ago made the jump into the rip-roaring City waters. Btw — these are in no particular order.

1. Figure out where the lake is — at all times. Chances are you are going to get lost your fair share, but if you ask someone for directions they will certainly give it to you in cardinal directions. The lake is east, btw.
2. Also on that subject, this city is designed in a grid — figure out the grid. State and Madison are 0/0. And learn some of the big streets. Grand. Chicago. Division. North. Fullerton. Diversey. Belmont. Addison. Irving Park. Michigan. Halsted. Clark. Ashland. Damen. Even just being familiar with the names is helpful.
3. There is more than one mile of Michigan Avenue — contrary to all the advertisements you may have seen about that magnificent (and always filled to the curbs with tourists) stretch. And chances are you can’t afford a damn thing off that stretch anyway.
4. This place is insanely neighborhood-centric — and people are extremely territorial. Lakeview is north of Lincoln Park, Wrigleyville is a part of Lakeview, and Andersonville is awesome but holy-hell it’s far north (it’s not that far, but we certainly like to exaggerate)! People constantly think places like Pilsen, Logan Square, Lincoln Square, and Uptown are too hard to get to on public transportation — but that’s just because they don’t like having to take a bus/train combo. The differences between Bucktown/Wicker Park are never agreed upon, so just accept that you actually live in both (or maybe Ukrainian Village as well).
5. Planning on working out in public or at a gym? Get yourself some lululemon attire — if not you’ll stand out like a sore thumb.
6. You will always wait in line for a table at Big Star — get over it. Give them your cell phone number, walk down the street to get some cash because I know you forgot it was cash only, and grab a drink somewhere in the 6 corners until they call you back. It’s still worth it.
7. Speaking of lines, you’ll also consistently find one at Toast, Yolk, Orange, Nookies, The Bongo Room, Meli Cafe and anywhere else that serves brunch. What can I say, we love our benedicts.
8. Pick a team — Cubs or Sox. And stand by it.
9. Cab drivers are required to accept your credit card, and will frequently make you feel like a piece of shit for paying with a card. Such is life.
10. You may often see people kayaking along the river, and while it looks peaceful, they are tourists. No one who lives here would EVER catch themselves dead touching the water in the river. Don’t you remember this?
11. No ketchup on your hot dog.
12. It’s ok if you don’t love deep dish pizza — we don’t ALL love it anyway.
13. The “el” comes from the fact that they are ELevated trains, not that they take you to the Loop.
14. We are called the Windy City — and not because it is (and oh man, it is) windy. There are differing theories here — rivalry with Cincinnati? 1893 World’s Fair? Long-winded politicians?
15. You will always black out at Stanley’s — that’s just inevitable. And it’s ok.
16. Chicago ‘streetfests‘ are a great way to meet new friends, especially if your type is ‘sunburned and drunk by 2 pm.’ Your festival audience can be tailored to your particular interests — drunk hipsters or frat boys, tight rainbow shorts clad men/women/transgenders, or tipsy parents with toddlers. Inevitably you’ll find yourself sitting on the curb downing greasy pad thai/pizza/ribs/french fries staring down at your unbelievably dirty feet.
17. The chocolate shake at the Weiner Circle is top notch.
18. Navy Pier is tourist-central. If you’re ok with that, go for it. Though there’s nothing there that you couldn’t get at any other tourist-centric place in anytown, U.S.A.
19. There’s something for everyone at the beach. You’ve got your runners/bikers along the lakefront path, your distracted dog owner letting their dog pee in the sand, your couple sharing a 40 and a joint, and college girls sunning in their string bikinis. But honestly, it’s pretty amazing that you have a gorgeous beach literally in your backyard. Get out there and enjoy the sunshine.
20. We still call it the Sears Tower even though Willis Group Holdings obtained naming rights it in 2009.
21. Boystown has the. best. dancing. around. A close second? The Hange Uppe.
22. Most bars are open until 2 a.m. Sun – Fri nights, and 3 a.m. on Sat. nights. A select few late-night bars stay open 2 hours past normal closing hours. Personal favorites are Beaumonts, Carol’s, Ravens, Shambles, Mother Hubbards and The Hange Uppe (for the dancing!). Please avoid Big City Tap — or as I lovingly refer to it — The Big Shitty. Some nasty things go down there that you definitely don’t want to be a part of.
23. Looking for a married guy with a nice car and fat wallet looking to re-live his youth? Head to the Viagra Triangle. Same goes for dudes looking for a recently divorced Gold Coast princess.
24. Want a weekend away? Join the throes of people heading to Michigan, Lake Geneva or Milwaukee.
25. This flag you see all around? It’s the City of Chicago flag. Your city probably has a flag too — but we like to fly this guy loud and proud.
26. You’re going to find a lot of beer snobs in Chicago — and rightfully so. We have tons of local and midwestern beers that satisfy any taste. Nothing screams out “tourist” more than walking into a bar and ordering a Bud light. The one exception to the rule is PBR. And the beer 312 is pronounced three-one-two not three-twelve. It’s the area code.

Now that there’s some Chicago groundwork laid out for you — here are some things you really mustn’t leave the city without checking off your list.

1. There really are amazing museums here — Art Institute, Field, Shedd (Aquarium), Adler (Planetarium) , MCA (Museum of Contemporary Art), MSI (Museum of Science and Industry) — but you should know the common names.
2. Take in some Blues/jazz, some comedy and some theater. There’s tons to choose from — and with top-notch artists. Take advantage of this.
3. Sit on a rooftop overlooking Wrigley Field — who knows how long the rooftops will actually be around.
4. There are SO MANY farmer’s markets. And they are incredible. Green City on Saturday mornings is by far the best way to start your weekend.
5. Guys, the Architectural Boat Tour is killer. It is not a tourist “trap” — it’s just plain ‘ol awesome for locals and tourists alike.
6. Eat ethnic. Some areas are straightforward — Chinatown, Little Italy, Greektown. Others you just have to know where to find it — go to Humboldt Park for Puerto Rican, Andersonville (or IKEA) for Swedish, Pilsen for German (and Mexican), Avondale for Polish, Indian on Devon, Korean on Lawrence and Vietnamese, Cambodian, Thai along Argyle and Broadway. This place is truly a melting-pot and these restaurants are as authentic as they get.
7. Catch a movie-in-the-park. There are tons of Chicago Park District parks and there’s something entirely nostalgic about watching a movie on a blanket with a picnic basket and a thermos of wine.
8. Take the Metra to Ravinia to see a concert– and send someone as early as humanly possible so that you aren’t sitting behind a pole or trashcan. See above about the picnic basket and blanket — but here you can openly drink from a classy wine glass.
9. Personally, zoos make me sad, but Lincoln Park Zoo is free to the public. I prefer walking north to the Alfred Caldwell Lily Pond. It seems to be open/closed at weird times, but once you get through the gates is a relaxing bit of solitude in the bustlin’ city.
10. Millennium Park offers free noon-time and Monday night concerts throughout the summer.
11. Run/walk along the lakefront. Go to Olive Park and take in the views of the skyline. Or north to Fullerton and look back. We’re so lucky to be able to combine urban city skyline, blue skies for days and the lake. Maybe even take a yoga class on the beach.
12. Rely on public transportation. You’ll hear people complaining about it all the time — but the system is pretty fabulous. Learn the ins and outs of the busses, the different colored train lines and even the Metra. I’ve lived in this city without a car for 6 years — you certainly can too. Downloading a bus/train tracker app will also help immensely as you get to know the routes. (Note: only the red and blue lines run 24/7)